Day Seven - Empathy

 On the seventh day of gratitude, I am grateful for empathy.

Although I don't remember the actual date, I will never forget the day in July 2003 that I took a crash course in empathy. And boy was I ever schooled on that day!

When my boys were very young , we bought a second hand double stroller for them. The stroller was big, heavy and awkward to get on and off public transit, so I usually walked everywhere.

Elaine, Ethan and Elliot circa 2003.

One day I took the boys to the neighbourhood waterpark . I decided to take a 'shortcut' through a little subdivision. Well, that turned out to be a mistake. While it was technically a faster route, what I hadn't realized was that the roads and the sidewalks were still unfinished. Also, the sidewalks that were finished, had a really high curb. It was quite a struggle getting the stroller up and down, on and off the curb. The children didn't like the constant bumping. Neither did my arms. What a nightmare that was. Needless to say, after our trip to the park, I took the long way home.

But that's only half the story. 

Once I got back to our apartment building, there were two firetrucks outside. Someone had set off the fire alarm, so the fire department were there on a routine call. The trouble is, once the fire alarm is activated, all the elevators stop working too. Roger and I lived on the 27th floor.

Up on the 27th floor!

I abandoned the stroller at the bottom of the stairs, and started walking up to our apartment via the staircase, holding the two of them by the hand.  Both Elliot aged 3 and Ethan aged 18 months were happy to walk up the first few flights of stairs, but they quickly got tired and both 'insisted' on being carried. I half carried, half dragged my two sons, plus their diaper change bag and some groceries up the remaining 22 flights of stairs. By the time we got home, all three of us were crying.

I remember vividly, walking through the front door and thinking to myself...what if I were in a wheelchair? How would I have made it through the subdivision? How could I have made it up the stairs?

I found out later, that the service elevator still works during an emergency, and the building superintendant would probably have let me use it. But that's not the point. The point is - it took this challenging situation for me to be made aware of the plight of so many disabled people. Accessability.

Although this was only a minor inconvenience to me, I realized that a lot people with physical disabilities face this type of situation all the time. They receive very little sympathy, let alone empathy for the challenges they face. No one sees and no one cares - until they are personally impacted. Little did I know then, that I myself would be facing a  unique set of challenges with my own disability down the road. But unless you have x-ray vision, my disability cannot be seen, so it goes unnoticed.

This incident taught me a valuable lesson. One that I have never forgotten. My vestibular disorder has caused me to look a little deeper, beyond what the naked eye can see.

So I always try to show empathy and kindness to everyone,  whether they have an obvious physical disability or not. Because you never know what people are carrying underneath it all.

And when people show empathy to me, without knowing about my hidden disability, well, then I am truly grateful.

Has your vestibular disorder made you given you a little more empathy for others?