Cancelled

It was about this time last year, May 2019, that my symptoms had started to flare up and I was feeling really bad. So bad in fact, that it sent me crying to my GP. As expected, she wasn't able to help, but she referred me back to the ENT who had originally tested and diagnosed me with VN in January, 2019. She stressed that my referral was a priority. The ENT called back with their next available appointment - for September 2019. Great. Another 3 months with these miserable symptoms.  

My appointment with the ENT came, and he like my family doctor didn't feel there was anything more

that he could do, but because I was crying (again)  he referred me to a clinic at the Sunnybrook Hospital, with an appointment scheduled for May, 2020. Great. Another 9 months to wait with these miserable symptoms. I'm so glad that I was only feeling really bad as opposed to really, really bad!

Shortly after Christmas, I'm not sure why, but I started feeling better. And by the end of January, 2020, I was feeling a lot better. I'm not sure what had contributed to this new state of well being , but I was definitely enjoying it. February, March and April all continued with the same trend and my tally chart flipped. I was now able to count the number of bad days a month on one hand, when before it had been the  opposite way around. 

At the beginning of May, I remembered my upcoming appointment with the ENT. And I also remembered what kind of testing would be involved with that appointment. And I didn't want to go. I mean, why put myself through all that, when they were probably going to tell me what I already know, which is that I have permanent nerve damage in my left ear. 

For a few days I tried to decide whether or not it was worth keeping the appointment. I weighed up all the pro's and con's and finally decided to cancel the appointment. After all,  I was feeling so much better, and on the most part my symptoms are manageable. 

However cancelling my appointment proved to be more difficult than I could've imagined. Because of Covid 19, trying to get through to any department in the hospital is a complete nightmare. I was caught in the revolving door, robo-roundabout. You, know, when the recorded voice lists all of the options except the one you want, and you end up back at the place you started with the original message. This went on for about 30 mins. So I hung up and  tried calling the next day. Again, no response so I tried again a third time and eventually got through to a machine. I think I left them a message, but I'm not entirely sure. I asked if they would call back to confirm they received my message. They didn't. So. I was frustrated and quite frankly annoyed that I was then going to have to pay a $30 no show fee, when I'd been trying and trying to cancel and give them enough notice. Grrrr!

Eventually I accepted the fact that I was going to have to pay them the money and just chalked it down to experience. Then I got this email. They cancelled.

Well, this is the best possible outcome. I don't have to go to a hospital during the pandemic. I don't have to have any of the tests which will induce vertigo.  I don't have to pay a no show fee. But, I do get to speak to the ENT about any questions that I have. And I have a few.

I know for a lot of vestibular patients a cancelled appointment is unwelcome and unwanted, but for me, right now, it's a good thing. I'm not sure if the ENT will be able to tell me anything that I don't already know, but at least I have his ear for about 15 mins tomorrow. Can't wait.