Acceptance Is The Key

Do you remember back in school when they had 'Sports Day', and the dreaded obstacle course? I do. And not too fondly either. Firstly, because I wasn't any good at sports. Secondly, but perhaps mostly, because of the obstacle course. I hated it.

The obstacle course was usually held at the end of the day, so you went into it already tired. It involved a series of obstacles, ranging in difficulty, that you had to pass through or over in order to finish the event, cross the finish line and get the prize. I found that they usually placed the most difficult challenge at the end. I also found that it usually involved some form of climbing activity. And I was hopeless at climbing.

It occurred to me, that my journey with vestibular neuritis has been very much like the Sports Day obstacle course. I've had to successfully overcome some difficult challenges and go through some very difficult emotions to finally reach acceptance and come through on the other side.

According to the Kubler-Ross model, there are five stages of grief that you have to pass through in order to move on and find peace. Although the five stages of grief was given as a framework for people going through grief relating to death, it is now widely recognized that people with chronic illness also go through these stages when coming to terms with their significant loss. The loss of themselves. 

 Today, some would say there are as many as seven stages and some claim even more than that. What's important here, is not the number of stages, but the fact that you have to go through many stages to get to the final stage...which is acceptance.

 

Acceptance is the key.

Acceptance does not mean you have to like your situation. It doesn't mean you won't still cry or feel sadness about your situation.  And acceptance certainly doesn't mean you should act as though you've got it all together, when you really don't. It simply means that you have accepted that it is unlikely your situation is going to change and you're okay with that. 

Exactly 365 days ago, I spent the entire day crying. I know this, because it was my birthday. My first birthday with vestibular neuritis. I was so very sad, I didn't feel like celebrating and the entire day was miserable. But somewhere between that day and this day I've gone through some stages and passed over that last difficult climbing obstacle and finally reached the finish line and got through to the other side. Acceptance.

Now, you must excuse me...today is my birthday and this year I'm going to celebrate.