I'm don't know when I began to feel as though I knew a lot about my vestibular disorder. I'm sure Google is partly to blame. But maybe it's because my ENT remarked that I seem to be quite knowledgeable about my condition, at my appointment a few weeks ago. Maybe it's because I'm currently enjoying a period of wellness, where my symptoms are mild and mostly manageable. Maybe it's because I'm now used to living this way. Maybe it's because I thought the onset was as bad as it would ever get and the worst of it was in the rearview. Maybe it's because I've been able to weave my thoughts about vestubular disorders into poetry with four stanzas and an cute end rhyme. Maybe it's a combination of all of these things. But whatever I knew or thought I knew, I. Was. Wrong.
A few days ago I was completely blindsided by an attack of dizziness unlike anything I've experienced to this date. I was standing in my garden pruning some shrubs, when I suddenly felt what can only be described as a strange swirling and rushing sensation - almost like a tornado. It seemed to start somewhere in the middle of my back, but moved quickly upwards past my shoulders, through my neck. Then upwards from the back of my head to the front, finally settling in front of my eyes - leaving me dizzy, shaking, sweating and seeing double, before I could even process what was happening to me or weakly mouth the word "help".
It was sudden, intense and very scary.
I haven't had dizziness this bad in a while and, truth be told, I wasn't really quite sure how to respond. I'd forgotten all my coping strategies and began to panic. Fortunately my neighbour, Miranda was there and able to assist me.
In all likelihood, this dizzy spell was triggered by the extreme heat. However, I can't be entirely sure since I haven't reacted that way in similar temperatures. I now realize that I've been a bit lazy about noting what my triggers are. Also, I haven't been monitoring and tracking my symptoms very carefully. I used to do it frequently in the beginning, when all of this was new, and I was desperately looking for a cure (or at least some answers and coping strategies). Over the last two years it seems I've been adapting. My vestibular system is broken, so I've just learned to walk with a limp. Adaptation is great, but how does that prepare me for future attacks? And what about the knowing my triggers?
Since my dizziness never consults my calendar or agenda to see if it's convenient and since I cannot postpone a vertigo attack for day when I'm less busy. I have to be a little better prepared as an attack can come with or without warning - anywhere, anytime.
It occurred to me that I have to approach my vestibular disorder a little bit like a firefighter. Firefighters are ready to deal with emergencies at all times. When the alarm goes off, they immediately kick into high gear and are ready to go. Every emergency is different - no two fires are exactly the same. Sometimes it's a five engine call out and other times it may be as simple as rescuing a kitten from a tree. Yes, they have a lot of downtime, but they use that time to fine-tune their skills and practice regular fire drills so that they are always fully prepared. I need to do that.
I've now decided to do what I call my monthly 'Dizziness Drill'. It is a scheduled appointment I will keep with myself, so that when I have an attack, my response will be automatic and I'll know exactly what to do. The aim is to practice my proven calming strategies when I'm not having an attack, so that I know what to do when it happens again.
My Dizziness Drill :-
1: Deep breathing and relaxation techniques
2: Listen to a guided meditation (save any good ones)
3: Recite my favourite calming bible verses, quotes or mantras
4: Recite my dizziness playlist (add or take away songs)
5: Review my symptom tracker and note any new or potential trigger activity
6: Make sure my 'essentials' (ginger, anti nausea meds, essential oils etc...) are fully stocked and easily
accessible.
A little while ago, I created a 'dizziness playlist' for myself. It consists of songs that are quiet and calming. Having them on a playlist makes them easily accessible. I've also saved a few guided meditations straight to my phone. Again, making them easier to find when needed.
A new thing that I'm trying is a symptom tracking app. This will help me see what my potential triggers are and hopefully avoid them. I'm sure every firefighter would agree that fire prevention is a much better alternative to firefighting.
I'm conscious that we now live in the era of Covid 19. People are encouraged to stay six feet away from each other. I no longer have any expectations or guarantees that anyone will come to my assistance, should I be unfortunate enough for this to happen in a public place. I have to be ready to handle the situation by myself if necessary.
Vestibular disorders are complex. Yes, I know a little bit about my disorder, but I still have so much to learn. Attacks can vary in intensity and length. They constantly evolve and change, and what worked for me in the past may not necessarily work in the future. So I need to be vigilant and aware at all times. I need to keep my finger on the triggers, so to speak. Because, well...you just never know.
How do you monitor what your triggers are? Do you practice how to manage a bad vertigo/dizzy attack?
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